As humans, we tend to see ourselves as rational and well-informed, while seeing the “other side” as irrational, misinformed, or even dangerous. This happens on both sides — we’re all vulnerable to it.

We believe our side is driven by care, fairness, and protection and "their" side is driven by selfishness, hostility, or ignorance. Understanding this bias in ourselves — not just in others — is essential. Recognizing that we are all prone to these distortions helps us engage more thoughtfully.

The best way to make progress is to find common ground — and that starts with listening.

Encourage others to elaborate ; Manage our emotions; Share stories, not just statistics and slogans

People connect through stories. They remember them. They’re less likely to argue with your lived experience than with your facts.

Example: “I believe in work. It gives you purpose, structure, and dignity. But if someone has worked for 20+ years and suddenly can’t due to illness or tragedy, shouldn’t society care for them? That’s why I believe in some level of government support.” That kind of personal framing invites empathy.

When we try to prove something with data, we usually cite our trusted sources — but those might not be trusted by the other person. Confirmation bias makes people accept what supports their beliefs and dismiss what challenges them. So instead of trying to “win” an argument, try something like: “Here’s how I see it. Here’s what I understand — and here’s where my understanding has limits.” Then ask “What am I missing?” This shows intellectual humility, which invites a conversation rather than a debate. It says, “I’m curious and open,” while still holding firm beliefs.